Showing posts with label reading. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reading. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Top 10 Books of 2019

A new year is here and that means I get to share my favorite books of 2019! I had a great year for reading with a total of 87 books. I participated(and completed) a book challenge with my sister that had us reading one book a month together. I also had my personal classic challenge for the 4th year in a row.  I only finished one of my three and I'm definitely thinking I'll take it easier this year with my selections.



































I was really behind on reviews this year and found myself letting them slip by the wayside. So I apologize for any sparse sections that are the result of not taking notes.

As always there are no special conditions for this list. It's taking EVERY book I read this year into consideration and picking my top ten. Regardless of length, genre, publisher, etc. These were my favorites. Period.

Okay, I lie, I did have one reread that I excluded because that wasn't really fair since it's my favorite book of all time and it'd end up as number one on my list every time I read it(so every 2-3 years) and that'd get pretty boring. (if you're curious it's Watership Down). Other than that though, this is best out of the rest.

So out of 87 books I narrowed it down to my top 10 favorites! And here they are!

10. Call of Brindelier by Missy Sheldrake (4✯)

30367498. sy475YA Fantasy/Adventure/Romance

A selfish prince on trial for treason. A beloved princess hiding a talent for forbidden magic. The race between Dawn and Dusk to claim Brindelier, a hidden city in the clouds with a promise of ultimate control over the source of power in the Known Lands: The Wellsprings.


Azi and Rian are back! The newly-betrothed couple once again find themselves drawn into the plots of fairy-kind, bestowed with gifts of new titles and strange, powerful abilities. A threat is revealed; one which Flitt insists is worse than anything they have yet faced. Is she referring to the gathering of Sorcerers who call themselves the Circle of Spires, or is a darker, more sinister force at play? Tib knows. He’s seen the might of the Dusk firsthand.

I always love when I find a series that manages to be consistently good throughout. It's something that seems to happen less and less for me and that makes me all the more excited to recommend this book. Book 3 of the Keepers of the Wellspring was another great addition to the series. I had a few quibbles with some minor things but overall a solid story. The couple who were front and center for book one return to the spotlight here and I missed them so much in book 2! I loved the battle/action scenes and found it impossible to set the book down once I got into the thick of one.

I like that the characters have flaws and struggles. I like that everyone has something they're battling with whether it's prejudice, hiding who they are, a reluctance to change, or temptation. It makes them easy to connect with and though sometimes it might make me dislike them or a choice they make I do believe it makes them feel more human.

9.  Saving Marilee by Annette K. Larsen (4✯)

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NA Non-magical fantasy/romance

Marriage wasn't bliss—not for Marilee. Instead of finding contentment with the handsome son of a sovereign duke, she found betrayal and neglect. And fear. A fear that finally lifts when her husband dies, freeing her from his domineering hand. But freedom alone can't give her peace, and she must battle to regain her love for life, rebuild her happiness, and reclaim the ability to trust. When her charming neighbor intrudes on her quiet life, she must determine whether his interest is genuine, and whether he deserves the fragile bit of trust she has managed to scrape together. However, trusting is a risk, and she has vowed never to put herself at the mercy of someone else’s whims. Can Marilee take that chance, knowing how terribly she’s chosen before? She doesn’t know if she can survive being wrong again.

For all those who have suffered in silence, no matter the hardship. Everyone deserves a voice.


I wish I could explain just how much I loved this book. This takes place in a fantasy world but with no magic. Apparently some people were thrown off by not being able to pinpoint the genre and then got annoyed when it didn't line up with what they imagined it should be. So if you DO read this there you go. Not all fantasy has magic in it but since this is an invented world it's still fantasy. Okay, enough preaching about genre!

So this book has a very lonely feel to it. Marilee almost never leaves her property the whole book and she's very isolated. I think that helped portray how she felt . . . alone. Her abusive husband has died and now she's left to pick up the pieces of her life. She's been shattered and she's trying to put herself back together.

I felt there was a really important "realness" to this story. The suave man who comes in and says all the right things and seems charming. Then slowly the wife's life falls apart as he picks apart who she is. He makes everyone think she's crazy. He's inconsiderate and belittling. He would do things like lock her in her room and then when she got upset about it use it to say, "Look, she's raving and banging on the door. I told you she was crazy. I'm doing this for her safety." On the outside, most healthy people could say, no, that's not crazy to freak out like that. But when you're in the situation it's a lot harder to see the truth. After awhile, Marilee started wondering if she really was irrational and crazy.

He cuts her off from her friends and family, doesn't allow her to leave, dictates what she'll wear and eat, and terrorizes her.

I was like oh my gosh, I KNOW people who've been through a situation like that. The psychopath that presents a great picture to everyone on the outside. They dress nice, speak well, have great jobs, nice homes, and put up a great front to everyone whose not close to them. If you try and speak up and say hey, this isn't right, this person is nuts, they're not treating me right . . . no one believes you!

So I found this a very powerful story that faced a hard, true to life situation and because I have people in my life that have been there it made it all the more impacting.

It's a slow story and there's not a huge action plot or anything. But I love some good character building and I thought Marilee's situation was one I'd seen in real life and could understand and get invested in. And she was written so well that it was a great reader/book pairing for me.

Buy it on Amazon or FREE on KU!

8. Ella Wood by Michelle Isenhoff (5✯)

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YA Historical fiction

Love. War. Both equally destructive to Emily's ambitions.

Though she left Charleston a spoiled daughter of the South, Emily returns from her stay in the North a changed young woman. Her assumptions about slavery have been shattered, and her secret dream of attending university has blossomed into fierce ambition. As the passions that are sweeping the North and South toward war threaten to envelop the city she loves, Emily must battle her father's traditional expectations in her own bid for independence. Meanwhile, the real fight may lie with her heart, in the form of a patient young man who is gently but steadily pursuing her.


This was an intriguing book because unlike a lot of historical fiction that centers around the Civil War(or just before that) the main character is more focused on herself than slavery being central. I think that was probably pretty realistic for slave owners and their families--especially when you're thinking teenagers--to not be too concerned about the slaves in their lives.

I mean, teenagers at any point in history are pretty zeroed in on their own personal problems. I was. Heck, I was super mopey and dramatic about the imagined travesties and injustices of my life. So it's nice to feel like yes, this is a real teen. She wasn't cruel or completely unaware of the enslaved humans in her world, but you could tell that it didn't effect her so she pushed it from the forefront of her mind.

This shows how the world was slowly shifting and crumbling. How the divide between north and south grew. And it takes the whole book but eventually Emily starts realizing that she should be more concerned about the lives of the slaves. It's really a lot of growth to see a 16 year old girl go from fixating on the guys in her life, what she wants to do with her life, where she wants to go, etc. to someone who realizes there are other things that are more important to fight for.



7. The Little Selkie by K.M. Shea (5✯)

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YA Fairytale Retelling/Romance


Dylan—a selkie—makes a terrible mistake when she brashly chases an evil sea witch onto land. Captured and stripped of her pelt—leaving her unable to return to the sea in her sea lion body—Dylan’s only chance of survival is to serve as the sea witch’s tool. Instead of allowing the sea witch to use her selkie ability to control water, Dylan asks a wandering enchantress to seal her voice, rendering her unable to use her selkie magic. Stranded—with no allies and no way to contact her family—Dylan fears she will never successfully steal her pelt back.

Luckily, Dylan is not alone. She is befriended by Prince Callan, a kind, human prince whose country is being pulverized by the sea witch. Combining the strength of humans and the intelligence of the selkies, the pair unites to save their people.

But when the storm is over will Dylan choose to stay with Callan, or return to the sea and leave him behind…forever?


This was easily one of my favorite retellings of the Little Mermaid. Yes, Dylan is a selkie, but the plot still holds such strong traces of the original that there's no doubt you'll be able to identify what the story is based on.

There's so many good points to this but I want to say that Dylan stood out as a very original and unique character. She didn't care what other people thought about her or what they said. She let insults flow over her because she truly just didn't care. She stood up for her friends because she realized they WERE bothered when someone was nasty to them. She was the girl who was standing at the buffet line filling her plate to brimming and not caring about what others thought. She wore what she liked, went where she liked, and overall I was like yes, this is the kind of role model readers need(especially the target audience of teens).

Dylan made me smile and the story was so much nicer for her having been trapped on land because she was trying to do something good rather than some stupid "I saw an unconscious guy once and now I'm madly in love to the point of doing something dumb". Heck, while Callan is trying to find the mysterious girl who rescued him guess who doesn't even remember him at first? Yep, Dylan saved him and forgot about him LOL. When she does remember him she was like, ugh, he was so heavy and inconvenient.

Truly a great story with lots of highlights but for me the character of Dylan was the best.

Find it on Goodreads!
Buy it on Amazon or FREE on KU!


6. The Kiss of a Stranger by Sarah M. Eden (5✯)

10048521NA Historical Romance

When Crispin, Lord Cavratt, thoroughly and scandalously kisses a serving woman in the garden of a country inn, he assumes the encounter will be of no consequence. But he couldn't be more mistaken--the maid is not only a lady of birth, she's the niece of a very large, exceptionally angry gentlemen, who claims Crispin has compromised his niece beyond redemption. The dismayed young lord has no choice but to marry Miss Catherine Thorndale, who lacks both money and refinement and assumes all men are as vicious as her guardian uncle.

Trapped between an unwanted marriage and a hasty annulment, which would leave his reputation tainted and Catherine's utterly ruined, Crispin begins guiding his wife's transformation from a socially petrified country girl to a lady of society. Their unfolding relationship reveals encouraging surprises for both of them, and privately each of them wonders if theirs may become a true marriage of the heart. But their hopes are dashed when forces conspire to split asunder what fate has granted. As a battle of wits escalates into a life-threatening confrontation, will it be possible for Crispin and Catherine to live happily ever after?


First off I really like this series. This was the third one I've read(yes, out of order) and it didn't disappoint. Crispin is a nice guy who is being hounded by a lady that just will NOT take a hint. Finally he's pushed to the point of doing something drastic. Mid-conversation he turns aside and pulls what he believes to be a maid into his arms for a long kiss. While he achieves his goal of offending the parasite who has been dogging his steps, he also finds himself in a mess.

Catherine's led a horrible life with her evil uncle that can't wait to be rid of her and strip away her inheritance. When he catches Crispin in the act of kissing her, well, let's just say he finally can work on his goal. He forces Crispin into marriage since he has sullied his niece's reputation and then waits for everything to fall apart.

I loved seeing Crispin being torn between not wanting to ruin his new wife and yet not wanting to keep either one of them in an arranged marriage. But he also finds himself slowly falling for someone he knows must hate him for ruining her life.

I love a romance that isn't love at first sight. A love story where they're thinking of the other person and being kind. They look out for each other's interests and it's not all raging hormones and junk.

Find it on Goodreads!
Buy it now on Amazon!

5. Sand and Storm by Stella Dorthwany (5✯)

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NA Fantasy Romance

When junior mage Faryn is offered an internship with Professor Shaun Valerian—famous for edgy magic and breaking hearts—she can’t afford to say no, even at the expense of her own archaeological dig. But when they join an expedition in the middle of the enchanted Caladoner desert, Shaun reveals he’s up to far more than excavating dragon sarcophagi. Growing high above the sands is a storm so massive it could destroy the planet’s magical balance. There’s just one chance to stop the cataclysm—a lost super weapon, long buried in a forgotten temple. A temple that Faryn must rob.

Faryn’s cousin Cora has also been drafted into the temple expedition. Newly married to a man she barely knows, Cora is more interested in kindling romance than in digging up artifacts. But as the desert’s strange enchantment infiltrates the magical bond that ties her to her husband, Cora begins to burn with a power that’s been forbidden for centuries. It could kill her—but it may be the only way to unlock the legendary weapon.

As the storm clouds darken, Faryn and Cora will have to choose: between safety and sacrifice, between duty and love, between old dreams and a new magic that will change the world—if the world can survive it.


Another fun romance novel that revolves around a couple who were less then willing to enter into marriage. Cora isn't sure why Damorin and her grandfather are so fired up about this arranged marriage, but she trusts that her grandfather wouldn't pair her with someone who wasn't a good man.

It doesn't take more than a few hours though for Cora to realize that Damorin has zero interest in building a relationship.

Meanwhile Cora's cousin, Faryn, is on her own adventure. Tagging along with a professor she adores, Faryn finds herself at a special dig site examining a temple.

When Cora and Damorin head to the same site, things start spiraling out of control. I really don't care for love triangles and this had them in multiples. But it wasn't hard to figure out that Faryn's interested in only one of the people chasing her and the other is more there for a note of humor.

Cora's situation was a bit more interesting because she really wants a relationship and Damorin is dead set against having one. So when someone pops up who is funny and kind and, if nothing else, interested in Cora, she finds herself with a friendship that makes her marriage all the more complicated.

I liked that Cora doesn't have an affair and it's clear that she's not looking to cheat on Damorin, she just is lonely and wants a friend. She finds one and yes, he's interested in more but when push comes to shove Cora is determined that her marriage is going to work.

The sequel Blood Traitor was equally amazing and though I still don't enjoy Faryn's sections as much as Cora's they do help to set up the plot as a whole.

Find it on Goodreads!
Free on KU or $0.99 on Amazon!


4. The Collar and the Cavvarach by Annie Douglass Lima (5✯)

25454725
YA Sci-fi

Bensin, a teenage slave and martial artist, is desperate to see his little sister freed. But only victory in the Krillonian Empire's most prestigious tournament will allow him to secretly arrange for Ellie's escape. Dangerous people are closing in on her, however, and Bensin is running out of time. With his one hope fading quickly away, how can Bensin save Ellie from a life of slavery and abuse?

I won't say too much about this one since I actually have a blog post for it where you can see my thoughts in detail. It's actually the only book I did an extended review for on my blog in 2019 so that should be saying something!

I do want to give a shout out though for books 2 and 3 as well. I read them as well this year and gave both 5 stars.

Overall a great start to this trilogy and I loved the raw human emotion and struggles that the characters experience.

Find it on Goodreads!
Buy it now on Amazon or FREE on KU!



3. Storm Glass by Jeff Wheeler (5✯)

36634904
YA Fantasy

Theirs is a world of opposites. The privileged live in sky manors held aloft by a secretive magic known only as the Mysteries. Below, the earthbound poor are forced into factory work to maintain the engine of commerce. Only the wealthy can afford to learn the Mysteries, and they use their knowledge to further lock their hold on society.

Cettie Pratt is a waif doomed to the world below, until an admiral attempts to adopt her. But in her new home in the clouds, not everyone treats her as one of the family.

Sera Fitzempress is a princess born into power. She yearns to meet the orphan girl she has heard so much about, but her father deems the girl unworthy of his daughter’s curiosity.

Neither girl feels that she belongs. Each seeks to break free of imposed rules. Now, as Cettie dreams of living above and as Sera is drawn to the world below, they will follow the paths of their own choosing.

But both girls will be needed for the coming storm that threatens to overturn both their worlds.


Storm Glass is the story of two 12 year old girls--though this is definitely not an MG book--who live in completely different worlds. The two don't meet, but you can see how their stories touch and will intersect later.

The bits with Mrs. Pullman were really well-written and were quite chilling. Heck, she could rival Dolores Umbridge for nasty witch with too much authority who hates children and is downright cruel.

Sera's parts are lacking in action and she never leaves her home, but wow, there's so many dynamics that are packed into her scenes. Scenes with hardly any new characters and no change of scenery! It was incredible. I did like how her character was a balance between a person with strong morals who was willing to put herself out there to protect others and a kid who is still intimidated by the scary adults *cough* her dad *cough* in her life. It was very believable the way she reacted.

I enjoyed so many of the secondary characters too. I liked the lawyer guy at the end who helped Sera, and Joses, and Hugilde.

You can tell this is all gearing up to something big. It's a story that's a beginning. It has a nice bit of self-contained plot that wraps up so that we do have a solid story with all the steps a book should have. And yet, it does leave you wanting more and some unanswered questions, and basically leaves you with the feeling that this is just the beginning. Which it is. It's the perfect way to start off a series.

Overall, really fun and amazing. This got my blood pumping, it got me invested. Love the characters, the world building. The writing is stellar and really had me swapping from super interested and MUST TURN PAGE to raging at the injustice of the world and wanting to leap into the pages and strangle some of these horrid people. Also lots of great little bits that I think impart important "life lessons" such as not having to explain yourself all the time, and not following the crowd. People watching your life don't know anything beyond what they see, so don't follow their advice just because. Remember they can't see the whole picture.

Another pitch for book 2 as well here. I gave that one five stars and hope to be continuing on with the series soon.


 
2. Memories of Ash by Intisar Khanani (5✯)

17969479. sy475YA Fantasy Adventure

In the year since she cast her sunbolt, Hitomi has recovered only a handful of memories. But the truths of the past have a tendency to come calling, and an isolated mountain fastness can offer only so much shelter. When the High Council of Mages summons Brigit Stormwind to stand trial for treason, Hitomi knows her mentor won’t return—not with Arch Mage Blackflame behind the charges.
Armed only with her magic and her wits, Hitomi vows to free her mentor from unjust imprisonment. She must traverse spell-cursed lands and barren deserts, facing powerful ancient enchantments and navigating bitter enmities, as she races to reach the High Council. There, she reunites with old friends, planning a rescue equal parts magic and trickery.

If she succeeds, Hitomi will be hunted for the rest of her life. If she fails, she’ll face the ultimate punishment: enslavement to the High Council, her magic slowly drained until she dies.



I enjoyed book 1 Sunbolt but took some time getting to Memories of Ash as I felt that Sunbolt was too short to feel truly complete(so I did feel a little ripped off) and I felt like a lot of time had been devoted to the characters, plot, and place the first part of the book took place in to just have the character leave all of that behind and not return to it.

Interestingly enough my husband and a friend of mine felt similarly about Sunbolt. I braved Memories of Ash first and it completely blew me away. This definitely felt like a full novel. The character is traveling through some interesting places and I get the feeling that we will eventually return to them. So the level of detail didn't feel unwarranted(plus it was a journey so it wasn't like we spent a long time on any one place). There were my two issues in Sunbolt wiped away.

We get to see how much Hitomi has grown. There's plenty of adventure and heart racing moments. I loved the traveling and meeting new people(and non-humans) and seeing new things. I loved the glimpse into a different culture as Hitomi meets some of her father's people. I'm really hoping that gets explored more in-depth in later books.

I loved how many new characters there were and the variety of loyalty and integrity that they showed. So many characters who helped out Hitomi and had various reasons for doing so--even at risk to themselves. Just a nice cast of well-rounded individuals. I loved that she got to meet backup with Kenta because he's a character that NEEDS more page time.

I liked that Hitomi is willing to risk everything to help out Stormwind. It shows a lot about her character and makes it easy to get behind her.

Overall this book is rich in characters, world building, and a unique story. You need to read Sunbolt for this to make sense but, as I told my friend and husband, Memories of Ash is even BETTER.
Find it on Goodreads
Buy it on Amazon!


1. Selkie's Song by Kimberly A. Rogers (5✯)


41748503. sy475
NA Fairytale retelling/romance

A selkie’s song can enchant a man and tame the sea . . .

Naia’s unusual love for human things led her to become the sole artisan in her clan. But when this passion leads to her abduction, she loses more than contact with the sea when her pelt is taken. Unable to shift forms or return to the sea without it, she knows she will die if she cannot recover the pelt soon. Cut off from her family, Naia must appease the human king while persuading his lovesick son to honor past arrangements.

Malik has loved and lost before, an experience leading him to shy away from love. When Naia is stranded, however, he risks everything to find her. Together they uncover a plot that would sweep up humans and selkies alike in a war that would destroy the Five Kingdoms and possibly all of Sonera.

When the enemy acts, can they save sea and land . . . and each other?


Hands down my all time favorite retelling of The Little Mermaid. A little crazy that it's also the second selkie version I've come across and it happened to be in the same year.

A few chapters in I actually got misty-eyed because I was like THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD and it's been so long since a romance plot hit me in the feels that knowing I was going to get a good one was like *sniff sniff* it's been too long.

I mean the mermaid character(who is a selkie) has this garden underwater(it's not actually underwater. They live in air pocket houses in the rocks and her roof is actually part of some rocks that poke above the waves and they have tiny holes for sunlight to come in.) where she raises land plants for no other reason than she loves them. She's seen as odd and the misfit because of how she looks and what she does for a hobby.

And this selkie leader--he is freaking tracking down flowers that are really beautiful and exotic and transporting them in cases underwater to bring to her for her garden.

And she has nooooo idea and I was like, "I'm not crying you are!!!" because it was so darn sweet how he was just doing something for her like that. That's romance peoples. He figured out what she liked, what she was passionate about and he showed interest. He wasn't going, "ermagosh you're so hawt and we just met and you're hawt so I like you." No, he actually has gotten to know this woman and her family. He's learned what interests her and he's going out of his way no matter how busy he is and get her something she likes even if she's totally oblivious.

Every problem I've ever had with the original and the numerous retellings was dealt with for the FIRST time. It makes me so happy that someone else doesn't like the same things and fixed them! And put in a super sweet romance that I could actually get behind.

I have to say though that the prince was so well done that I wanted to strangle him. He needed to die a slow and horrible death. I didn't warm up to him at all and I can't imagine how Naia managed to not drown him.

Find it on Goodreads!
Buy it on Amazon or FREE on KU!

Friday, May 24, 2019

Best Fairytale Retellings

My sister and I have been talking about our favorite fairytale retellings. It's sooo hard to choose just ONE favorite. I figured it'd make a great topic for a blog post. If you're looking for some retellings this summer here's my breakdown of my favorites by tale! (And no, I'm not even limiting myself to one favorite per tale if it's a close call.)

While I know this is not my first post on retellings, I hope that it's been long enough that this will hit some fresh readers who maybe haven't read my other posts and also I've got over 2 years of additional reading done since then and I have NEW BOOKS FOR MY LIST! I've tagged each title with "new" to show which ones were not previously on my list of favorites. Everything else is an old favorite that's still going strong!Without further ado let's begin!


Beauty and the Beast

  • The Rose of Prophecy (out of print)
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While BatB is super popular and I absolutely love the original and the potential it holds, I don't tend to like many of the retellings. Enter this awesome novella that won first place for BatB retellings hands down.

She is afraid. Not because she is alone. Not because thick roiling clouds obscure the moon. Not because the wind rushes through the forest like a wild dragon. She is afraid because she is late. And to be late means death. 

This book solves one of my MAJOR issues with both the original and its various retellings. It always bothered me that the father put his daughter in the position to sacrifice herself to the beast. LIKE WHY THE HECK TELL HER THAT'S AN OPTION!

Anyway, that's always been my big issue with BatB, but there's some other fun changes the author makes that I enjoyed. I liked that the sister's were kind as well as beautiful. Without giving spoilers, I really loved the twist on why Beauty was late returning to the castle. I loved the twist on why the Beast did everything he did and the reason there was the whole "father or daughter" ultimatum.

Sadly this little novella has been unpublished and since it was in ebook form only there's no way to get a copy of it. Since I can't really recommend a book that no longer exists, this'll be the last time it makes my list.

  • The Whispered Kiss (NEW!)
3005076The only adult novel on my list, Whispered Kiss, is a fairly clean romance(perspective and all) and while it's definitely more romance heavy--too many details--than I personally prefer, I think it'd be considered light/clean romance for most romance readers. 

With the sea at its side, the beautiful township of Bostchelan was home to many-including the lovely Coquette de Bellamont, her three sisters, and beloved father.

In Bostchelan, Coquette knew happiness, and as much contentment as a young woman whose heart had been broken years before could know. Thus, Coquette dwelt in gladness until the day her father returned from his travels with an astonishing tale to tell.
 Antoine de Bellamont returned from his travels by way of Roanan bearing a tale of such great adventure to hardly be believed. Further, at the center of Antoine's story loomed a man-the dark Lord of Roanan. Known for his cruel nature, heartlessness, and tendency to violence, the Lord of Roanan had accused Antoine de Bellamont of wrong doing and demanded recompense. Antoine had promised recompense would be paid-with the hand of his youngest daughter in marriage.

Thus, Coquette found herself lost-thrust onto a dark journey of her own. This journey would find her carried away to Roanan Manor-delivered into the hands of the dark and mysterious Lord of Roanan who dominated it.

The heavy romance in this keeps it from being something I recommend often(due to many of my friends preferring less sensual content as well) and it did lessen my enjoyment of the story. However it did some really unique things with the story. The father is actually a selfish jerk (instead of the author trying to sell a loving father who ALWAYS tells Beauty she can save him if she gives herself up) which made me happy that it solved my issue of how a loving father could do what he did. Because he's not a loving father! HA!

I also liked that Coquette and Valor actually knew each other prior to the books events. They were sweethearts that were not allowed to marry. Their separation was bad for both but it brought out the best in Coquette and the worst in Valor so that when we meet them in the story we see someone who is Beastly inside and someone who is Beautiful.


  • A Tale of Beauty and Beast (NEW!)
36199298Princess Sophia has helped her twin sister Lily save the duchy of Marin. But now Sophie faces an even greater threat when she sets out to free the cursed kingdom of Palinar from its beastly prince. Alone, and with danger on every side, Sophie must navigate a magical castle and its even more mysterious master to discover the secret to breaking the curse.Except the more time she spends with Prince Dominic, the more she starts to question who exactly she's supposed to be saving. With time running out for the trapped inhabitants, and the reappearance of an old enemy, Sophie may have to choose between saving the kingdom and following her heart.


There's plenty of ties to the original fairy tale and yet the story spins out in a fun and unique way. I honestly was sad that I didn't get to see more of Sophie and Dominic's story because I really really liked the slow build up to the romance. It made sense that it was slow and I loved how it was handled. But that made it so that by the time the characters admit their feelings and can show them, the story is about over! And at that point i was all in on their relationship and wanted some more of those romance moments.


Princess and the Pea

I so badly wish this was a story that saw more retellings because for whatever reason it really inspires authors to make an AMAZING book.

  • The Princess and the Pea(NEW!)
32501051Only a true princess can save the kingdom. 

Alaric wants to be king. He wants to continue the peace and prosperity his father created in Aeonia. But with enemies questioning his bloodline, he’ll have to put his heart on the line and marry a stranger to secure his right to rule. Only a match with a true princess will silence his critics and protect his future.

Lina’s lineage is shocking at best and deadly at worst. Over a century ago, she put herself into an enchanted sleep to seal away a horde of dark creatures. Now both Lina and the goblins are awake. Without friends or resources, Lina must seek the help of the Council of Kings. To get close enough to them to ask for aid, she’ll need to convince everyone she’s a true princess.

As Alaric searches for a true princess to marry, Lina tries to convince the world she is one. But while they try to save the kingdom on their own, they may find what they need is each other. 

On the rare occasion I want to shake an author and say, "Why did you do this to your amazing book?" This was one of those times. This sat on my kindle forever because it's title is literally the same as the tale it's based on. No creativity there. The cover is pretty in a simple way, but by no means eye-catching. So there it sat. And it's sequel(The Frog Prince mentioned later on) suffers from the same issues. The author couldn't be bothered to think of a title and the covers aren't selling it. Ugh!

Anyway, all that to say that this is AMAZING. Easily tied with long time front-runner Violet Eyes.

I mean . . . come on. Lina is a FREAKING SHADOW WARRIOR! She's so amazing! She's not some peasant that gets swooped up by a prince or a princess that meets her handsome true love. No. Not Lina. She's not a princess or a commoner. She's a magical, kickass, shadow warrior that's been fending off dark creatures for over a hundred years. She's a flipping legend by the time she awakes. Only she's not just a story. She's legit and so are the dangers she fights against. Now she has to somehow face this monstrous force in a time where everyone's forgotten about these dangers and her league of warriors is no longer in existence.

Overall a very unique retelling of The Princess and the Pea. Stellar writing and characterizations. Two in the morning, people! That's how late I was up to finish this. It was something I started that night and 7 pages in realized I was NOT going to bed that night. Nope. Not until that book was finished.

The only reason this doesn't beat out the other contender is because the romance/love interest was rather lackluster. I think if the author had actually written a non-romance of the story it would've been MUCH better. Easily could've ended up being #1 if this had gone the friendship route instead.

  • Violet Eyes
6609571 When a storm brings the dashing Prince Richard to her family's farm, Violet falls in love at first sight. Richard also gives Violet his heart, but he knows his marriage is destined to be an affair of state, not of passion. For the king and queen have devised a contest to determine who will win their son's hand in marriage.

To be reunited with her prince, Violet must compete against princesses from across the land. It will take all of her wits - and a little help from an unexpected source - if Violet is to demonstrate the depth of her character and become Richard's bride.

This book gets a lot of hate--among the few who've read it--but I really do love it. Yes, I appreciate some of the complaints and understand them, but this idea of the WHY behind such a hairbrained test was genius for me. I loved the twist at the end and I loved that not all of the "other girls" were horrible brats like how some books what their special snowflake to stand out so they make her the only nice female.

This introduced some truly unique ideas to the Princess and the Pea and for that reason (and the fact that the love interests actually met prior rather than meeting one rainy night as the girl bangs on the door) this still holds a spot on my list.

Twelve Dancing Princesses

Hi, my name is Kristen and I'm an addict. A TDP addict. I'm really trying to narrow this down because either this is a super popular tale to retell or I just happen to read and love a ton of them. Or possibly both. So believe me when I say this is the narrowed down list. The first four I couldn't honestly say which one I liked the best. It's a four way tie. The last one is also a favorite that I couldn't NOT mention.

  • A Dance of Silver and Shadow (NEW!)
36186930 When Princess Liliana and her twin sister set sail for new lands, Lily hopes to find adventure and romance. But the people of Marin live under the shadow of a curse—one powerful enough to destroy entire kingdoms. To protect them all, Lily and eleven other princesses are forced to participate in a mysterious and secret tournament.

Lily spends her nights competing in a magical underground realm and her days unraveling the dangers of this new court. Although she needs the help of the Marinese prince, Lily knows she can't let herself grow too close to him. There's no time for romance when the duchy is about to fall to the encroaching darkness and the winner of the tournament faces a terrible fate.

But Lily and her twin have a secret advantage. And Lily grows increasingly determined to use their magical bond to defeat the tournament, save the princesses, and free Marin. Except she might have to sacrifice true love to do it.

Let's stop a moment to appreciate the absolute beauty of this cover. In fact, every story in the TDP section is gorgeous. Major props to the cover artists. 

Lots of new twists. The world building was very well done. The characters all had the right amount of development. I couldn't put this down and was up late into the night to finish it.

Unlike any retelling I've seen, these princesses aren't sisters(or at least not all of them). A Princess Tourney has been called and by the ancient laws of the land, all eligible princesses within the borders of the participating kingdoms MUST attend. They are forbidden to speak of the trials(magically forbidden) and have to perform their best to prevent a death curse from falling on someone they care about.

There's multiple layers to this story, there's plenty of personalities, the story begs to not be put down.

  • The Firethorn Crown
27315475  Princess Lily, the eldest of twelve sisters and heir to a mighty kingdom, desperately seeks a break from her mother's matchmaking. Tradition forbids marriage with the man Lily loves, so she would rather rule alone than marry someone who only wants the crown.Fleeing an overzealous suitor, Lily stumbles into a secret underground kingdom where she and her sisters encounter a mysterious sorcerer-prince and become entangled in a curse that threatens the safety of her family and her people. Lily can free them, but the price for freedom may be more than she's willing to pay.

The Firethorn crown is an amazing story that really rounds out the charcters more than the original. It also takes the love interest from a different quarter, as well as having more male characters than just the "failed princes" and the love interest. There's lots of potential for more stories and some of the best descriptions I've ever seen in any book.

Book Links: Amazon and Goodreads



  • The Princess Curse
  • 9588207Twelve princesses suffer from a puzzling (if silly) curse, and anyone who ends it will win a reward. Reveka, a sharp-witted and irreverent apprentice herbalist, wants that reward. But her investigations lead to deeper mysteries and a daunting choice—will she break the curse at the peril of her own soul?

    I've never once contacted an author to ask if they'd write a sequel for something. Until this book. Yes, I'm way above the target age range. This was simply a brilliant book that combined two awesome stories to create a deep tale with fascinating characters. I dearly hope there'll be a sequel, and I'd love for it to be YA targetted.

    Book Links: Amazon and Goodreads




    • Princess of the Midnight Ball
    • 3697927A tale of twelve princesses doomed to dance until dawn… Galen is a young soldier returning from war; Rose is one of twelve princesses condemned to dance each night for the King Under Stone. Together Galen and Rose will search for a way to break the curse that forces the princesses to dance at the midnight balls. All they need is one invisibility cloak, a black wool chain knit with enchanted silver needles, and that most critical ingredient of all—true love—to conquer their foes in the dark halls below. But malevolent forces are working against them above ground as well, and as cruel as the King Under Stone has seemed, his wrath is mere irritation compared to the evil that awaits Galen and Rose in the brighter world above.


      I've read this a couple of times and I love it for a lot of the reason I love The Firethorn Crown, good development of the princesses, a unique love interest, and room for each princess to have her own story. Unlike most TDP stories, this one gives a good bit of the story from (the MMC)Galen's pov and that really helped take this to the next level.

      Book Links: Amazon and Goodreads

      • Entwined
      8428195
      Just when Azalea should feel that everything is before her—beautiful gowns, dashing suitors, balls filled with dancing—it's taken away. All of it. And Azalea is trapped. The Keeper understands. He's trapped, too, held for centuries within the walls of the palace. So he extends an invitation.

      Every night, Azalea and her eleven sisters may step through the enchanted passage in their room to dance in his silver forest, but there is a cost. The Keeper likes to keep things. Azalea may not realize how tangled she is in his web until it is too late.


      Book Links: Amazon and Goodreads





      King Thrushbeard

      • The Scarecrow King(NEW!)
      • 18597268
      Princess Rinda of Balinore knows of only one way to get her cold father’s attention – to be an obnoxious, spoiled princess. When she finds out that the king plan to marrying her off to a far-flung nobleman, she puts on her best bratty show in front of the entire court. But Rinda’s plan backfires, and she soon finds herself married to the most ineligible man ever. Her new husband is monastery raised, poor as dirt, and a traveling minstrel.

      A very, very bad traveling minstrel.

      But Alek isn’t what he seems like on the surface, and neither is Rinda. She won’t take this marriage lying down, and schemes to find herself a new husband – a king. But as she and Alek travel together, they learn that not only are appearances deceiving, but goals can change in the blink of an eye, and love can get in the way of the strongest plans…


      A rarely retold story that shines unexpectedly from an author who doesn't write retellings, or even fantasy for that matter. This book was so amazing that I hope it won't be her only foray into the genre. The best part of this is how the two main characters are developed. Rinda has a reason for her tasteless comments and hoity toity attitude. While Alek also has a reason for choosing to come for a bride that was nasty to him and that he doesn't love(because let's be honest, one short meeting where the other person insults you is not going to result in love).

      The only complaint I have is that this isn't part of a retelling series!

      Little Mermaid

      • The Little Selkie(NEW!)
      • 28452447
      "Dylan—a selkie—makes a terrible mistake when she brashly chases an evil sea witch onto land. Captured and stripped of her pelt—leaving her unable to return to the sea in her sea lion body—Dylan’s only chance of survival is to serve as the sea witch’s tool. Instead of allowing the sea witch to use her selkie ability to control water, Dylan asks a wandering enchantress to seal her voice, rendering her unable to use her selkie magic. Stranded—with no allies and no way to contact her family—Dylan fears she will never successfully steal her pelt back.

      Luckily, Dylan is not alone. She is befriended by Prince Callan, a kind, human prince whose country is being pulverized by the sea witch. Combining the strength of humans and the intelligence of the selkies, the pair unites to save their people.

      But when the storm is over will Dylan choose to stay with Callan, or return to the sea and leave him behind…forever?"

      There's a ton of retellings of the Little Mermaid but I always have some quibble with it. This one addressed so many issues I have with various versions of this tale.  One of my favorite parts is when Dylan realizes the prince is the same guy she'd saved months ago. The guy she was extremely annoyed about saving and that he was so heavy and kept falling off the piece of wood she put him on, forcing her to continuously stick with him. The guy she'd mostly forgotten about while he's been obsessedwith finding her. It was just so humorous compared to the lovesick mermaid we know who spots a handsome guy and saves him because she things he's hawt and then pines after him.

      Dylan's got her own reasons for being stuck in her human form, and it's definitely not because she is chasing down some guy she doesn't even know.

      Peter Pan

      • Peter and the Starcatchers
      • 34262
      Still holding it's spot as my #1 is Peter and the Starcatchers. Hands down this is my favorite retelling of Peter Pan. The audiobook is superb, so I recommend listening to a clip of that and seeing if you love it as well before starting this series. This is one of the rare occasions where I would say listen to the audio instead of read the story because the quality of the audio is stellar.

      While I definitely enjoyed the first two books in the series the most, I also liked the the last two books and can happily recommend the whole shebang. This is middle grade but appeals to a wide range of people.

      This tells the story of Peter Pan, the Lost Boys, Hook, Tinkerbell, and all the rest before we meet them in the original story. There's danger, adventure, pirates(of course!), a secret society whose mission it is to protect the world, and a darkness so purely evil that it gives you shivers.


      Book Links: Amazon and Goodreads

      Cinderella

      • Ella Enchanted
      24337
      Here's a classic that's a hard sell for me. I really, really, really, do not like Cinderella. Right up there with Snow White for one of my least favorite fairy tales. As a result, it's a story that despite having a ton of retellings . . . I'm just so picky about.

      An old favorite that I think just about anyone who's read retellings has read. Gail Carson Levine has delivered some truly stellar fantasy tales over the years and as a 90's child I really appreciated growing up with these. Ella Enchanted was my second favorite of her books and is still my favorite Cinderella story. I've a well-worn well-loved copy that I've kept with me since childhood.

      In case you haven't read it, I'll just share the blurb and let you discover the rest!

      At birth, Ella is inadvertently cursed by an imprudent young fairy named Lucinda, who bestows on her the "gift" of obedience. Anything anyone tells her to do, Ella must obey. Another girl might have been cowed by this affliction, but not feisty Ella: "Instead of making me docile, Lucinda's curse made a rebel of me. Or perhaps I was that way naturally." When her beloved mother dies, leaving her in the care of a mostly absent and avaricious father, and later, a loathsome stepmother and two treacherous stepsisters, Ella's life and well-being seem to be in grave peril. But her intelligence and saucy nature keep her in good stead as she sets out on a quest for freedom and self-discovery as she tries to track down Lucinda to undo the curse, fending off ogres, befriending elves, and falling in love with a prince along the way.

      Book Links: Amazon and Goodreads


      • The Stepsister's Tale
      • 18722882
      What really happened after the clock struck midnight?

      Jane Montjoy is tired of being a lady. She's tired of pretending to live up to the standards of her mother's noble family-especially now that the family's wealth is gone and their stately mansion has fallen to ruin. It's hard enough that she must tend to the animals and find a way to feed her mother and her little sister each day. Jane's burden only gets worse after her mother returns from a trip to town with a new stepfather and stepsister in tow. Despite the family's struggle to prepare for the long winter ahead, Jane's stepfather remains determined to give his beautiful but spoiled child her every desire.

      When her stepfather suddenly dies, leaving nothing but debts and a bereaved daughter behind, it seems to Jane that her family is destined for eternal unhappiness. But a mysterious boy from the woods and an invitation to a royal ball are certain to change her fate...

      This was rather slow-paced, but I actually really enjoyed it. I loved the twist of the Cinderella being a bratty little rich kid, the dad being an over-indulgent parent, the stepmother being mentally disturbed, and the stepsister's trying to survive despite everything.

      The real twist for me was that it was the parents who really caused a lot of the issues. Cinderella's dad spoiled her, never corrected her, and was basically a horribly lenient parent. We see the effect this has on Cinderella and though she is a brat, with time, as her dad is no longer feeding her behavior, she starts to mellow out and by the end we at least see some potential for her to grow into a decent young woman.

      The mother was intriguing in her blinded belief that the family is still rich and respected and I really felt for the sisters who were trying to survive despite the mother's actions that made this difficult. The romance was sweet and I wish there'd been more of it. I loved the slowness of it. This was no insta-love and that was refreshing. I wish there'd have been more time spent on it as the chemistry and such was good.

      I'd recommend this for anyone that wants a light and fluffy read and is okay with something slower-paced with little action. The characters are really the key here.

      Book Links: Amazon and Goodreads

      • A Wish of Glass(NEW!)
      • 25674742
      Deep in a forest glade, the fey folk dance with Isidore, a young human child. Their kinship is the very fabric of her childhood. When her mother dies and her world darkens with sorrow, Isidore finds her belief in the fey folk wavering.

      The love of her new step-sister, Blessing, proves an unexpected gift in her time of need. Yet even as their friendship blooms, Isidore begins to see that Blessing is everything she herself has always wanted to be, but is not. Jealousy grips Isidore as she watches this beautiful new sister steal away all she holds dear.

      Driven to desperation, Isidore turns to the fey folk once more. She has only one wish to claim from them, one chance to make things right. But she must tread carefully. For wishes, like hearts, are easily broken. And obtaining the one thing she desires could mean destroying the one thing she truly needs.

      One of the interesting points is you can't say for sure who's story this is. Is it Cinderella's story? Or the Ugly Stepsister? It could be either. That made it layered right from the start.

      Isi(who I won't reveal if she's Cinderella or the stepsister) loses her mother, has an estranged father, and when her father finally starts to be part of her life he suddenly remarries. Now she's in a new home and has a step-mother and a step-sister. Her life is spiraling and she never was on solid ground before that. Isi's got so many problems, but I loved watching her growth as I went on this journey with her.

      I thought the romance was unneeded, but otherwise I found this to be a Cinderella retelling that stands out by miles from every other story of its kind.

      • Princess of Glass(New! Only because somehow it missed my last list)
      7199667Hoping to escape the troubles in her kingdom, Princess Poppy reluctantly agrees to take part in a royal exchange program, whereby young princes and princesses travel to each other's countries in the name of better political alliances--and potential marriages. It's got the makings of a fairy tale--until a hapless servant named Eleanor is tricked by a vengeful fairy godmother into competing with Poppy for the eligible prince.

      Though I don't love this as much as the first book in the series, I did really, really love this. I've always been disappointed that the author didn't continue and give each sister her own book.


      • Fated (NEW!)
      • 35846895All Cinderella wants is to take care of her family.

        After working tirelessly for five years to prove herself among the city’s elite, she’s about to graduate and win a coveted spot in city government. Then it all blows up in her face—literally.

        A violent, anonymous force has been targeting commoners in horrifying attacks. Now they’ve set their sights on Cinderella. Either that, or she’s losing her mind. It doesn’t help that she’s falling for a mage who’s way out of her league.

        Just as she manages to recover from the attack that left her scarred and traumatized, the city’s mysterious enemy destroys what’s left of her future. But when they go after her family, they cross the line. The whole city is in danger now.

        How much is Cinderella willing to risk to save the city that has always hated her?


        This is probably the most unique spin on Cinderella that I've read. I'm not a fan of Cinderella's story for many reasons, but this handled those amazingly. Cinderella is not a weak-willed, broken person. She's determined, smart, ambitious, and kind.

        She wins the rare honor to attend the Academy where if she graduates well she can improve her family's circumstances. Instead of being cruel, her step-mother and sisters(who aren't really related) are generally nice people who unfortunately need to stay hidden to stay safe. They've allowed rumors to circulate that Ella is mistreated and so on in hopes that it'll keep her protected.

        Everything comes crashing down when an attack on the Academy during the finals not only puts Ella in the "hospital" draining her family's finances, but also snatches away her chance to complete the exam.

        Schooling down the drain and her dream vanishing before her eyes, Cinderella tries to pick up the pieces of her life. Scarred, and without a hope of advancing, she pours her energy into the bakery. Alongside is a mage who's been blacklisted. Together they combine their talents to take their business to new heights.

        But someone out there doesn't want them to succeed and Ella can't tell if the creepy threats she's getting are real or just her traumatized mind cooking up things after the attack.
        The Frog Prince(All new!)

        Wow! So this didn't even make it on my list two years ago. Since then I've definitely hit the jackpot with this slimy tale! You're not getting just one or even two recommendations, but FOUR because they were all so good that why not give you more story options? But which one is you FAVORITE, Kristen! If you had to pick one. I'll at least answer that. It was the Green-Eyed Prince. No doubt in my mind that it blew every other retelling of the Frog Prince out of the water. (see what I did there?)

        • The Frog Prince
          20697813
        Prince Nolan has had enough of Princess Blythe—the woman to whom he has been betrothed since infancy—and her simpering letters. Does the princess truly not have a brain in her head? Never before has he communicated with someone who seemed so childish and spoiled. It was time he met her for himself, to decide if he could actually follow through with this marriage. But to do it right, she must not see how handsome he is. He needs a disguise—something that would show him her true nature.

        Nolan asks an old herb woman to transform him into a creature that is disgusting to any female—a frog. The spell will last thirty days unless the princess does the impossible and kisses him. Now the true test begins. Will Blythe prove to be as monstrously annoying as he believes she is, or will he learn to see past his judgments and find a loving princess waiting for him?

        Blythe and Nolan find themselves dreading their arranged marriage(their only communication being through letters). Nolan decides that to be fair to his intended, he would test her before deeming the match unsuitable.

        His solution: to turn himself into a frog for 30 days or until he receives a kiss from Blythe. He figures he can truly judge her character by how she treats a disgusting, slimy frog of no importance.

        I loved that there was a motive--and a good one--for the prince being a frog and requesting what he did of the princess.

        • The Green-Eyed Prince
        • 36148019
        An enchantress is murdering Queen Kartek's soldiers and threatening her kingdom. Kartek's healing jewel has been lost. Her only hope of saving her kingdom seems to lie in the hands of the green-eyed stranger who claims he can save her jewel and her people...but the price is steep, and the young queen doesn't have much time.I loved so much about this book, like the fact that the princess character was a queen, a ruler, not a child. She was mature and was juggling a lot of real life responsibilities. I also liked the fact that unlike the original, she's not a spoiled brat who foolishly promised anything for a toy and then breaks that promise. (not to mention then throws a fit when she's force to keep her word)

        Kartek has the weight of the world on her shoulders and what she drops is not a mere toy but something she desperately needs. And though the dropping was a bit of her own fault because she was fiddling with it, I completely understood why she'd needed to get away from her chaotic life and just have a minute of peace. She beats herself up about it but to me it made her human.

        I really hate to say more and spoil this story. So I'll leave you with a strong urge to read this. Great characters, a nice handling of the romance, and just wow.

        • A Midwinter's Wedding
        Princess Cordelia is used to being overshadowed by her many brothers and sisters. So when she's offered the chance to attend her brother's wedding in a faraway kingdom, she leaps at it. In Northhelm, she'll finally have the chance to stand out. And maybe, just maybe, she'll even find romance.

        But not everything in the Northhelmian court is as it appears. With her brother distracted by the wedding, only Ferdinand, the ugliest man at court, will listen to Cordelia's concerns. An observant princess and a strangely amphibious soldier may be the only thing standing between all Four Kingdoms and disaster.

        This is part of a series, but is capable of standing alone and was by far my favorite despite being a novella that was shoehorned between books 3 and 4. Great romance and I actually loved both the main characters. Cordelia was fun and smart. Ferdy was sweet and brave. I liked that Cordelia is honest with herself in the fact that she wanted to go to this wedding to snag someone rich and handsome(preferably a prince). And she admits it's not a good thing that she judges on appearance.

        Ferdy listens to Cordelia--as in actually listens. She realizes this and it's so cool to watch their relationship develop as they grow to respect one another.


        • The Frog Prince
        • 36316247
        All she needs is a clue 

        After a disastrous Princess Test, Carina tries to pick up the pieces and prove she is still a trustworthy spy. But all her evidence points to magical interference, and her father won’t believe such preposterous theories without proof. She’ll have to solve this mystery fast to salvage her reputation, but can she do it alone?

        All he needs is a kiss


        When Carina refuses to attend his brother’s wedding, Prince Stefan crosses the ocean to change her mind. But the perfect surprise turns into a perfect disaster when a witch transforms him into a frog. Only a kiss from Princess Carina can break the curse, and she doesn’t seem inclined to kiss anyone. Can Stefan win her heart before it’s too late?

        Or will dark magic sweep them all away?

        This is a second book (to the Princess and the Pea) so be warned with that! 

        Proof that it doesn't pay to get your brother a nice present!!! Okay, maybe it does . . .

        I mean, all Stefan wants is to get his brother a wedding present. That's it. Simple. But oh, first he has to be a landlubber stumbling over his own feet on a ship that doesn't get to the right destination anyway! Then he gets attacked, and cursed, and sheesh, couldn't the girl have just shown up to the wedding?!

        Now he's a frog in another country trying to win a kiss from a princess who has way too much going on to deal with some weird frog and his drama. Carina has a list of problems and she didn't sign up for a frog stalker.

        One tough princess in a hard life and a cursed prince who just wanted to get a stinking present for frog's sake!

        The Snow Queen


      • The Snow Queen

        • 2200913
        Aleksia, Queen of the Northern Lights, is mysterious, beautiful and widely known to have a heart of ice. No one would seek her wisdom except as a last resort. But when she's falsely accused of unleashing evil on nearby villages, she realizes there's an impostor out there far more heartless than she could ever be.

        And when a young warrior following the Tradition disappears, leaving his sweetheart and mother to fear the worst, Aleksia's powers are needed as never before.

        Now, on a journey through a realm of perpetual winter, it will take all her skills, a mother's faith and a little magic to face down an enemy more formidable than any she has ever known.

        This one is my favorite of the Five Hundred Kingdom series.

        The Snow Queen starts off near the end of the traditional tale and continues on from that point in the Snow Queen's point of view. This story twists the roles of the characters and gives the Snow Queen a new motivation for her actions. Her personality and how well she plays her role made me instantly love her. The majority of the story is original content since it's a "what happened after" type of retelling.

        Book Links: Amazon and Goodreads


        The Goose Girl


        • The Goose Girl
        179064Anidora-Kiladra Talianna Isilee, Crown Princess of Kildenree spent the first years of her life listening to her aunt's incredible stories, and learning the language of the birds. Little knowing how valuable her aunt's strange knowledge would prove to be when she grew older. From the Grimm's fairy tale of the princess who became a goose girl before she could become a queen, Shannon Hale has woven an incredible, original and magical tale of a girl who must understand her own incredible talents before she can overcome those who wish her harm.

        This is another book that's made its way into my library and I've read it at least twice. There's two stand out things for me in this tale. The first is the addition of Ani having magic. There are different forms of "speaking" in Ani's world and she has one of those forms. The second is that this book feels very much like the original tale only fleshed out.

        The talking blood and horse head are absent(unless I'm forgetting), but otherwise this feels like Hale took the original story and expanded it and filled in all the blanks. Most retelling are tweaking the plot in some way, but this stands out as unique because so much was the same.

        I the rest of the series(which are not retellings, but stories from other characters in the world) was okay, but they failed in my mind to measure up to this one and I didn't even add the last two books to my collection. This can be read as a standalone and though I have a friend who'll shoot me for saying so, I'd have been happy stopping with this one.

        Book Links: Amazon and Goodreads


        Friday, April 27, 2018

        20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - ABB Review

        This is my first ABB for a classic. So here's to hoping I don't incite the masses.



        This is not the first classic that I've failed to love or that's brought on some extreme emotions worthy of ABB notice. It's simply the first that got me so darn ranty on so many points that I NEED TO EXPRESS.

         First though, the details. 

        Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea is a classic science fiction novel by French writer Jules Verne published in 1870. It tells the story of Captain Nemo and his submarine Nautilus as seen from the perspective of Professor Pierre Aronnax.

        After hunting what he thinks is some giant narwhale, Aronnax goes overboard and is picked up by the Nautilus. What follows is the Professor's observations of his 20,000 league voyage.


        Sounds interesting, right? To be fair I read an abridged version as a child and looooved this story. I got my hands on what professes to be as close of a translation as possible. So now I have the original to chew on.

        Now, credit has to be given for this being written in 1870. I completely get that some things do not date well and as time has gone on, obviously we have more accurate information as well as easier means of accessing it. I get that . . . really. Verne can't help that his novel didn't age well in some aspects. But it doesn't mean I didn't have some eye twitching and sputtering at points.

        Since I managed to get through the whole thing, I'm now going to have my rant.

        Leagues starts out well enough and the bit of dragging as we wait to find the elusive "prey" can be excused as building up to that moment.


        Once inside the sub though, things went downhill. In an attempt to either wow his audience with a ton of information or attempting to legitimize his tale by spewing "facts", Verne bogs his novel down with the most BORING crap ever.

        I don't know what he was thinking, but uh yeah, I did not need to know the exact location of every single island that they passed(didn't stop at, but just passed in the distance.) Just tell me what ocean you're in or what island it is. I get the picture. Keep your meridians and long/lat info. And it was ALL THE FREAKING TIME!

        Also on unnecessary and boring novel bogging bits, we had Conseil. Conseil was the man child of the novel. He's called a boy but is in his 30's and his entire life is dedicated to serving Aronnax and having no opinion whatsoever. He constantly refers to Aronnax in third person kind of like hmm... oh yeah, that other person with no sense of individuality.

        Hmm, maybe Tolkien was annoyed by Conseil and used him as inspiration! When he's not doing the whole "does master need anything?" routine(it went hand-in-hand with the "If master wishes, that's what we'll do. I have no wishes except for what those of master are.") he had this GREAT habit of classifying everything to death.


        Conseil's not a smart person and couldn't tell you the difference between a penguin and a puffer fish. But if you tell him the names of those animals he'll sit there and run down the entire taxonomy of them. And he does it frequently! And with great gusto!


        I wanted to throw him overboard many times. Seriously though!! Who wants to hear the taxonomy of every freaking thing we see on this trip? Not me!!!

        Next on the docket for "ways I attempted to amaze my readers and failed" we have GIANT paragraphs that contain lists of marine plant and animal life. Pages of it sometimes. I mean . . . I can just see it now. 

        "Mr. Verne, we see here you have a new book. What do you think is your great selling point?"

        "I'm so glad you asked, Mr. Publisher. I figured I would open up an encyclopedia and list every mollusk name I found to fill up pages 45-50. And then I repeated that process with fish, mammals, seaweed, coral, etc. I do try to break up these giant lists with show of movement from place to place, which I prove by constantly updating my character's exact coordinates."

        "And you think this will fascinate readers?"

        "Who doesn't love an over abundance of details and lists so long that they lose their impact by the end?"

        "Good point. You have a deal then."

        This is so not something I can blame time for. No, I'm sorry, but this is not a matter of lack of information. This is just plain crazy!!! I mean, paragraphs and paragraphs of stuff fit for a Dr. Seuss book.

        "We opened the window and saw red fish, blue fish, green fish, spiked fish, fish with spots, fish with dots. girl fish, boy fish, twenty-four fish! Fish from down deep and fish that like to leap! Fish with long hoses and fish that smell like roses. Fish from the Pacific, but this list is short and not too specific. Fish that swim upside down and fish that can only swim around and around. Fish that smile and fish that sing. Fish that can sprint a mile in spring!"

        And finally we finish with fish and move onto a different animal/plant group. It got to the point where I hailed my fellow sufferer(ie. my friend who was reading this at the same time) and said, "I'm just going to start skipping the paragraphs of classifications, long/lat, and lists of everything out our window."

        In this case, less would've been more. A few key examples of what they were seeing and really bring those to life. Instead by the time I got to the end of a list I couldn't tell you what was on it but "clams". It was a list of clams. Hang what kind! Heck, normally I'd go look up something new and interesting but these were just . . . 

        Even excluding the slow points of boring, overly done details, the first half of the journey was soooo boring. Very little happened and the one sorta interesting part was where they were temporarily locked up and then drugged. It's quickly over and forgotten so holds very little tension.

        Eventually events start to pick up and there's some interesting trips and excursions. I think they would've stood out better had their been less clutter. But I now found a new issue . . . FACTS. Yes, this is Science FICTION, but the premise seems to be, "Here be a fantastical underwater ship with sci-fi stuff to explain how that's possible. And then here's it in our real world with everything else as it truly is."

        Therefore I feel at least partially justified in my reaction to events and descriptions of certain things. While at the same time I acknowledge that I have access to way more information than Verne did. So I have him at a disadvantage there. I don't know if he was too lazy to do research or simply got his hands on bad information(I suspect the latter), but either results in a book that didn't age well.

        (My knowledge on below matters stems mostly from a natural love of water that has led to having collected a few facts on oceans and diving and such. While SCUBA certified, my diving experience is limited and no, I don't have any sort of specialized degree. But you're welcome to check my facts here.)
        1. Seaweed. Yes, I'm going to grouse about seaweed. Seaweed comes in three groups. Greens, browns, and reds. Greens need the most sunlight, reds the least.

          It's like algae on your fish tank or in your pond. It likes warmth and light. Most seaweed is going to grow above 100 meters. And logically if 100 is about the max then that means there's not much growing at that depth and because of lack of sunlight . . . IT'S GOING TO BE RED.

          Verne plants an entire freaking forest of the stuff AT 100 meters and oh wow, it comes in all three shades. *facepalm* This happens in contemporary novels too. People, seaweed needs sunlight. Stop planting it so deep!
        2. Oxygen and diving. There's a lot of technical stuff that goes on here. But I'll stick to the basics. One tank of air is normal for diving. Deep diving usually involves two. One tank of air at 30 feet gives you approx an hour of dive time. (experienced divers can go a little longer and exertion also weighs in, but we'll stick with an hour)

          ONE hour. At 30 feet(10 meters). Now you cannot sell me on a scuba tank from 1865 that holds 8-9 hours of air(as stated by Captain Nemo) when they don't exist in 2018. I'm not buying whatever Verne was on. That stuff was potent.
          This only gets more ludicrous when you realize that a lot of these dive trips are at depths much greater than 10 meters. The deeper you go, the less time you get on your tank of air. It is NOT recommended to dive past 130 feet(40 meters). Firstly you're only getting a few minutes of air at that depth. Secondly, it's not healthy. Again, this gets a bit technical for me, but basically something about the nitrogen and oxygen in your blood. It makes you wonky after a certain depth. Basically toxic.

           I distinctly remember my dive instructor telling me a story of how he was friends with a guy who went too deep and thought the crabs were talking to him. Deeper you go, the more your brain chemistry goes crazy and it's not good. So these strolls at 100+ meters that the book characters are doing(HOURS of diving at that depth) is insane on so many levels.

          Despite Aronnax talking about pressure, they never seem to really experience it. At the depths they're diving I can't even imagine how bad the pressure would be. Even if oxygen wasn't an issue, the pressure would be. Not once do we see the characters feeling the effects of pressure or even equalizing(though granted, I don't know how one equalizes with a glass dome on their head).
        3. The getaway boat. Our intrepid sub is equipped with a boat on the top that is covered and sealed tight. Supposedly you can climb in while underwater(from the sub) and then release it and shoot up to the surface and roll back the top and you're all set! Now, let's just assume for a minute that you're NOT down so far that the pressure would keep that boat from going up(air in boat won't matter if the pressure is great enough) and the boat does shoot up to the surface. Um, the closer that boat gets to the surface the faster it's going to go and you'll be rising too fast. You are definitely NOT supposed to come up to the surface that fast. You have to decompress coming up.
        4. But you know, Verne just had water issues all over the place. The concept of being heavier the deeper you went didn't seem to occur to him. Poor Aronnax was wracking his brain over the "how to get the sub to sink when all that pressure would be pushing you upwards!!" and I'm shaking my head. He seemed to think the deeper you went, the harder it was to stay down because all that pressure would be pushing you up.

          Nooooope. Divers have to stick weights on their equipment to sink at first, but as they go deeper, they get heavier. So then you put air into your "jacket" to balance out your weight. The deeper you go, the more air you have to add. And if you don't add air, you drop faster and faster because you only get heavier. The sub would be the same thing. Deeper it went, the heavier it'd be.
          Reverse is also true. When you're coming up you have to slowly dump the air as you get lighter to maintain a balance, or yeah, you will shoot to the surface like a rocket. Then you're again rising too fast and you don't properly decompress.
        5. The South Pole. Nemo seems to be on a quest to explore ever part of the ocean as fast as he can, and yet seems to take very little happiness from it. At one point there is an excursion to the South Pole and I eventually just shut down mentally thinking about it.

          The most obvious flaw is that they go under the ice and up into a mysterious open lake in the center of the ice and take a reading on a hill near the lake to find that yes, they are right at the South Pole. The South Pole is of course a continent. There's ice on it, and around it, but if you wanted to get to the center, you'd have to start tunneling through dirt. It's impossible to reach the South Pole in the manner they did.
          Also, to have an unfrozen lake in the center there is probably also impossible. I imagine it's never warm enough at the pole for there to be an unfrozen lake. I can't say 100% that's true, but that's my guess.

          Next, we have whales that swam under the ice to reach this lake. Now, this is a huge dive for the Nautilus and it takes at least 36 hours for them from the time they had to dive under the ice until the time they came up. (The last point of time they gave me referenced about that long and shortly after is when they found the lake.)

          Now, whales can't stay underwater that long. You're looking at about 2 hours for an impressive whale breath holding contest. Even the most intense OP whale wouldn't make that trip without stops along the way for air. Not even close.

          While at this fascinating fantasy pole, Aronnax encounters walruses(which are ARCTIC animals. They are not found in Antarctica.) I got about 3-5 pages that day because I was suspicious about some walrus facts as it was. Aronnax says their tusks are made of pure ivory and harder than an elephants. I really don't trust the author at this point, so I stopped to do some digging.
          I didn't find an answer on the hardness of the tusks(it'd be interesting if true), but I did on the ivory bit. I thought for sure ivory was an elephant only thing. It is. Sort of. True ivory only comes from elephant tusks. So saying it was made of pure ivory is a bit of a fudge. Often tusks from any animals are called ivory though. Not a big deal(placing them on the wrong side of the planet is), but I found it interesting.

          Aronnax is also remarkably resilient to the cold. Or it's just not that cold. Warmest temps in Antarctic are -15 degrees, but this guy trots around like it's a beach holiday! It's probably even colder since it's at the end of the daylight time for the region! But he goes on hikes and wanders around and just doesn't seem to exhibit any signs of being in a supremely cold place. I can't stand when authors forget their climate and fail to show the reality of living in that climate. Cold weather is not the same as temperate!
          Overall, I was very very unimpressed with Verne's take on the South Pole.
        6. Animals. Back up to the sperm/baleen whale situation. Sperm whales do NOT eat baleen whales!!! They eat fish and squid. If you wanted a hunter, he should've picked on orcas, and even then, they like fish and seals. They might pick on a dolphin. But even they don't hunt other whales that I know of. Which made the whole senseless slaughter of them all the more frustrating.

          We have a shark attack a diver in the Indian Ocean at one point in the novel. Unprovoked, outright shark attack. Nemo ends up going for the shark after the diver gets knocked out and a bloody battle ensues. The shark . . . is a blacktip reef shark.

          Blacktip are famous for being cowards. They do NOT just attack people. Unless they were lured in because you tied a bag of dead fish to your waist or something, they're probably not going to attack. Most people who swim in areas with these sharks make it a point to outright swim in shallow water rather than wade so that the sharks can see that they're human. It lessens the chance of an attack.
          For one of these sharks to attack in the manner shown in the novel(and not flee when it's getting a heavy beating) is very far-fetched. It doesn't help that Aronnax labels the shark as an evil man-eater. Clearly Verne had his issues with a few large sea animals.

          Earlier on, they see two sharks on their way back from an underwater stroll. This is how they're viewed, "My blood turned cold in my veins! I saw that we were under threat from a fearsome pair of sharks. They were blue sharks, dreadful man–eaters with enormous tails, dull, glassy stares, and phosphorescent matter oozing from holes around their snouts. "

          Ahh, clearly some deadly killers! Only . . . how do you explain that in over 400 years there's only record of 13 incidents (as of 2013)where blue sharks even BIT someone! Duh, they must just be so dangerous they devour their human prey every time and those 13 are just lucky they escaped!!

          With all the sharks in the world that are way more likely to attack humans, couldn't Verne have thrown them in there?

          Also, the whole thing about sharks having to flip upside down to bite people . . . where did he come up with that!!
        Now maybe you're wondering why the above bothers me so much. Part of it is simply the fact that it's wrong. I don't like errors. It has me shouting at the book that whatever it said wasn't true. In the case of 20k Leagues, there's another 2 reasons why it bugs me.

        Firstly, people didn't have the luxury of researching things with ease like we do when this book came out. And they didn't for a long time after. When there's a book selling facts that aren't true, they would believe them. That's really too bad that someone with that much influence cluttered up a book with false information. His chance to educate people on the wonders of the world they didn't get to hear about or see was wasted when he riddled it with false facts.

        Secondly, as a reader who can(and will!) look up things I find interesting in books(factual things. You can make your unicorns do whatever you want) and who happens to know some basic marine life and diving snippets, I spent way too much of this book being annoyed with errors. And when I came across something that I didn't know was true or false, I started assuming false.

        Verne had made so many wrong statements at that point that I couldn't bring myself to trust him. An author I trust could tell me a fun fact and I'd be like oohh, that's so cool! Verne would say something and I'd be like, yeah right, idiot. There were too many things to look up and if I wasn't drawn to research an aspect, I just read it like it was someone describing the grinding of wheat. I couldn't believe him and I refused to be awed by something that in all likely was probably not true. I also wasn't going to go running to family/friends and say, "Hey, did you know . . . " and share my new knowledge because HA, it probably wasn't right!


        There were areas not related to misinformation that bothered me too.  One of the points I hated was the hunting of animals. The words, "These animals have been over-hunted" from Nemo was a sure sign that he was then going to go hunt that very animal. Oh, the poor otters, they're being over-hunted . . . okay let's kill some.

        Not even joking. Nemo spouts these things about how he's so much better than everyone else because he feels for the pour endangered animals. AND THEN HE KILLS THEM! Does he wake up every morning and have conversations with himself where he denies being part of the problem?



        And it's not even like he needs to kill them! (I'll get to food in point 6) And sometimes, he just gets on this moral high horse and mass slaughters vulnerable species!

        The worst case of this is definitely the whale massacre. Nemo lectures Ned, a harpooner who also got trapped on this sub, about wanting to kill a baleen whale for sport. I agree. But . . . a short few lines later, Nemo sees a pod of sperm whales(he says something about them traveling in pods of 300-400 *eye roll*) and they are EVIL. He thinks THEY should be wiped off the face of the Earth. Every last one should be slaughtered because . . . they hunt and eat baleen whales.

        Waiiiiit. So let's stop for a second. Does that mean every apex predator should be eliminated? What would happen to that delicate balance if we wiped out every animal that ate an animal we like? What's the criteria for evil? Because if it's eating a mammal then uh, we have a lot of work to do. Let's start killing!


        They climb back into the sub . . . and Nemo proceeds to kill the entire pod of sperm whales with the spur on the sub. They come back to the surface and there's nothing but bloody water for miles around. They just slaughtered who knows how many sperm whales(just as vulnerable as baleen whales I might add) and they did so not even for sport! Ned can't kill one whale for sport, but Nemo can kill an uncountable amount because he's decided the world is better off without them. They don't even keep the mutilated bodies for food or oil. They just swim off with the water tainted by all that death. (I bet some evil sharks came and cleaned up.)

        At least Ned is a character that is honestly just wanting to hunt animals and doesn't profess to hold some higher code. I prefer a straightforward character with a trait that fits that time period than one that does the same stuff, but acts like he's somehow different.

        The same pattern of "oh, this animal is going extinct. Okay, dinner time!" was repeated way too often. Aronnax talks about the manatees being hunted to the point where it was causing a negative reaction on land. I don't know if that was true, but if it was it was sure a good reason to leave them be. Immediately Nemo goes out and kills half a dozen, which Aronnax claims is all right and good because after all, it was merely a matter of stocking the pantry.
        Right after that, they go and catch several loggerhead turtles as well. Most of the animals they make a special note of hunting are on the vulnerable side of the list, but these turtles are actually endangered. And here we are hunting them! Live off the freaking masses of fish you're catching! I don't see why this wide variety in diet is needed under the sea. I don't eat lions and elephants just for variety! I don't go after every land animal to put in my fridge, so I don't see why Nemo needs ever sea creature for his.

        And then there's the food hoarding. Aronnax guesses the population of the sub to be under 65 people. The most seen though is around 10. So let's just meet him at 30 and say that's how many people are there. I don't know how a bunch of people who wander around/sit on a sub almost every day--all day--manage to EAT so much but . . . they constantly are hauling in nets full of fish, hunting animals(overhunted ones!!! But hey, we NEED them), and it's insane! At one point they go out and kill "hundreds" of penguins to eat.

        Now tell me . . . where are they stashing all this food? Why do we need that much food for that few people? We don't. It just makes the whole sermon on how Nemo isn't evil like other hunters because he only hunts for survival all the more ludicrous. HUNDREDS of penguins in one stop!

        There's also some issues with the lack of resolution. By the end of the book, too many things are left a mystery. Something my fellow victim, Elise, also felt was a problem. Nemo's name, origins, purpose are all gone unanswered. We don't know why he feels driven to attack certain ships, or even what country these ships originate from. There's also the fact that regardless of what happened to upset him, the chances of the people on those ships being involved is slim.

        Nemo eventually suicides(or attempts it) by steering his sub into a maelstrom. Which I accepted as a child would indeed be enough to take out even the infamous Nautilus. Research shows that the power of such whirlpools is greatly exaggerated and even the big one Nemo hit isn't a problem for large ships. I can't imagine a submarine would encounter that much trouble.
        But what causes this decline? For most of the voyage, Aronnax is almost in awe of Nemo. They get to be pretty buddy buddy and Aronnax is okay with his imprisonment. Ned is seen as a loose cannon because he for some inexplicable reason wants his freedom. Nemo almost hits like a deity status for Aronnax which is super annoying. But after the South Pole trip, something changes.

        Nemo becomes even more reclusive and sullen. He lashes out in anger a few times at the prisoners and loses that cool, aloof manner he's known for. This causes Aronnax to shift his opinion of the man and finally want his freedom.

        But what causes the change, we're not told. A man who's been all over the oceans to explore suddenly decides not only to end his life, but that of his crew and prisoners. Everything he's collected and the drive to see all the things no longer matters. That's a huge shift. I wanted to know the root cause of it.

        Just as I wanted to know what caused <65 men to join this escapade. How did Nemo find that many people willing to give up a life outside of a submarine? What language do they speak? How did they fluently train everyone in a different language, or invent and train everyone in a made up language?
        Why are the crew simply cutout figures? They have no names, no personalities, and somehow Aronnax and his friends only meet them under circumstances where they're simply props. They're hunting, chopping ice, whatever.

        Theodore L.  Thomas wrote an essay on 20k Leagues around 60 years ago. A lot of what he said is no longer considered valid since it was on a poor translation. But I feel like he actually was on the right track, even if he'd had his hands on an accurate copy.

        He says that the book is full of elementary mistakes and the depictions of several things are pretty bad. He claims that Verne did not take advantage of information and knowledge that would've been available to him at the time.
        This makes me lean all the more heavily towards lazy writing. I can't help thinking that so many of the errors could've been cleared up with some research on Verne's part.

        I was so happy to hit the end of this book(which I gave 1 star) and will never pick up Verne's work again. I only stuck out this book because it's part of my classics challenge for the year and I try very hard to stick with them.

        In review, my main points for hating this book:

        • Misinformation/lack of research
        • Overly detailed/descriptive sections on marine life, boat mechanics, and positions
        • Too many questions left unanswered
        • Pointless killing of vulnerable species
        The truly sad thing is this has a lot of potential. I thought about giving it 2 stars for potential. But potential means nothing if you don't reach for it. With some major editing and research, this could've shown out as a book worthy of being deemed a classic. Instead I'm left wondering how something so lacking made it into that category.

        Well played whoever is responsible for this books addition to that list. I salute your genius.

        For anyone curious as to what my co-conspirator thought of the book, you can catch her review on her blog.

        Examples. I'm sharing bits of the info heavy sections to highlight what I meant at the beginning of the post. I'm putting them here so that if you don't want to read them or get all glassy-eyed over it, you can just close this post when your eyes start bleeding instead of scrolling to find where the awful content ends. (There's really nothing hiding after this. xD It's not like credits in a movie!)

        "In 1600, sir, the Dutchman Gheritk was swept by storms and currents, reaching latitude 64° south and discovering the South Shetland Islands. On January 17, 1773, the famous Captain Cook went along the 38th meridian, arriving at latitude 67° 30'; and on January 30, 1774, along the 109th meridian, he reached latitude 71° 15'. In 1819 the Russian Bellinghausen lay on the 69th parallel, and in 1821 on the 66th at longitude 111° west. In 1820 the Englishman Bransfield stopped at 65°. That same year the American Morrel, whose reports are dubious, went along the 42nd meridian, finding open sea at latitude 70° 14'. In 1825 the Englishman Powell was unable to get beyond 62°. That same year a humble seal fisherman, the Englishman Weddell, went as far as latitude 72° 14' on the 35th meridian, and as far as 74° 15' on the 36th. In 1829 the Englishman Forster, commander of the Chanticleer, laid claim to the Antarctic continent in latitude 63° 26' and longitude 66° 26'. On February 1, 1831, the Englishman Biscoe discovered Enderby Land at latitude 68° 50', Adelaide Land at latitude 67° on February 5, 1832, and Graham Land at latitude 64° 45' on February 21. In 1838 the Frenchman Dumont d'Urville stopped at the Ice Bank in latitude 62° 57', sighting the Louis–Philippe Peninsula; on January 21 two years later, at a new southerly position of 66° 30', he named the Adélie Coast and eight days later, the Clarie Coast at 64° 40'. In 1838 the American Wilkes advanced as far as the 69th parallel on the 100th meridian. In 1839 the Englishman Balleny discovered the Sabrina Coast at the edge of the polar circle. Lastly, on January 12, 1842, with his ships, the Erebus and the Terror, the Englishman Sir James Clark Ross found Victoria Land in latitude 70° 56' and longitude 171° 7' east; on the 23rd of that same month, he reached the 74th parallel, a position denoting the Farthest South attained until then; on the 27th he lay at 76° 8'; on the 28th at 77° 32'; on February 2 at 78° 4'; and late in 1842 he returned to 71° but couldn't get beyond it. Well now! In 1868, on this 21st day of March, I myself, Captain Nemo, have reached the South Pole at 90°, and I hereby claim this entire part of the globe, equal to one–sixth of the known continents."

        *looks that over* Mhmm. Yeah, at least this showed up in the "okay I'm skimming bogus crap" stage.

        Some thirty pictures by the masters, uniformly framed and separated by gleaming panoplies of arms, adorned walls on which were stretched tapestries of austere design. There I saw canvases of the highest value, the likes of which I had marveled at in private European collections and art exhibitions. The various schools of the old masters were represented by a Raphael Madonna, a Virgin by Leonardo da Vinci, a nymph by Correggio, a woman by Titian, an adoration of the Magi by Veronese, an assumption of the Virgin by Murillo, a Holbein portrait, a monk by Velazquez, a martyr by Ribera, a village fair by Rubens, two Flemish landscapes by Teniers, three little genre paintings by Gerard Dow, Metsu, and Paul Potter, two canvases by Gericault and Prud'hon, plus seascapes by Backhuysen and Vernet. Among the works of modern art were pictures signed by Delacroix, Ingres, Decamps, Troyon, Meissonier, Daubigny, etc., and some wonderful miniature statues in marble or bronze, modeled after antiquity's finest originals, stood on their pedestals in the corners of this magnificent museum. As the Nautilus's commander had predicted, my mind was already starting to fall into that promised state of stunned amazement.

        Because we couldn't just be told "He had a bunch of awesome paintings. Here's an example of say two of them." Likewise, below, we meet the same issue when Aronnax gives us a "brief" summary of what Nemo has in his glass showcases.

        An excitable conchologist would surely have fainted dead away before other, more numerous glass cases in which were classified specimens from the mollusk branch. There I saw a collection of incalculable value that I haven't time to describe completely. Among these exhibits I'll mention, just for the record: an elegant royal hammer shell from the Indian Ocean, whose evenly spaced white spots stood out sharply against a base of red and brown; an imperial spiny oyster, brightly colored, bristling with thorns, a specimen rare to European museums, whose value I estimated at ₣20,000; a common hammer shell from the seas near Queensland, very hard to come by; exotic cockles from Senegal, fragile white bivalve shells that a single breath could pop like a soap bubble; several varieties of watering–pot shell from Java, a sort of limestone tube fringed with leafy folds and much fought over by collectors; a whole series of top–shell snails—greenish yellow ones fished up from American seas, others colored reddish brown that patronize the waters off Queensland, the former coming from the Gulf of Mexico and notable for their overlapping shells, the latter some sun–carrier shells found in the southernmost seas, finally and rarest of all, the magnificent spurred–star shell from New Zealand; then some wonderful peppery–furrow shells; several valuable species of cythera clams and venus clams; the trellis wentletrap snail from Tranquebar on India's eastern shore; a marbled turban snail gleaming with mother–of–pearl; green parrot shells from the seas of China; the virtually unknown cone snail from the genus Coenodullus; every variety of cowry used as money in India and Africa; a "glory–of–the–seas," the most valuable shell in the East Indies; finally, common periwinkles, delphinula snails, turret snails, violet snails, European cowries, volute snails, olive shells, miter shells, helmet shells, murex snails, whelks, harp shells, spiky periwinkles, triton snails, horn shells, spindle shells, conch shells, spider conchs, limpets, glass snails, sea butterflies—every kind of delicate, fragile seashell that science has baptized with its most delightful names.

        I hear you pleading enough! So I'll leave you with one more piece of torture and then let you down from the rack.

        "Here, Professor Aronnax, are the different dimensions of this boat now transporting you. It's a very long cylinder with conical ends. It noticeably takes the shape of a cigar, a shape already adopted in London for several projects of the same kind. The length of this cylinder from end to end is exactly seventy meters, and its maximum breadth of beam is eight meters. So it isn't quite built on the ten–to–one ratio of your high–speed steamers; but its lines are sufficiently long, and their tapering gradual enough, so that the displaced water easily slips past and poses no obstacle to the ship's movements.

        "These two dimensions allow you to obtain, via a simple calculation, the surface area and volume of the Nautilus. Its surface area totals 1,011.45 square meters, its volume 1,507.2 cubic meters—which is tantamount to saying that when it's completely submerged, it displaces 1,500 cubic meters of water, or weighs 1,500 metric tons.
        "In drawing up plans for a ship meant to navigate underwater, I wanted it, when floating on the waves, to lie nine–tenths below the surface and to emerge only one–tenth. Consequently, under these conditions it needed to displace only nine–tenths of its volume, hence 1,356.48 cubic meters; in other words, it was to weigh only that same number of metric tons. So I was obliged not to exceed this weight while building it to the aforesaid dimensions.

        "The Nautilus is made up of two hulls, one inside the other; between them, joining them together, are iron T–bars that give this ship the utmost rigidity. In fact, thanks to this cellular arrangement, it has the resistance of a stone block, as if it were completely solid. Its plating can't give way; it's self–adhering and not dependent on the tightness of its rivets; and due to the perfect union of its materials, the solidarity of its construction allows it to defy the most violent seas.

        "The two hulls are manufactured from boilerplate steel, whose relative density is 7.8 times that of water. The first hull has a thickness of no less than five centimeters and weighs 394.96 metric tons. My second hull, the outer cover, includes a keel fifty centimeters high by twenty–five wide, which by itself weighs 62 metric tons; this hull, the engine, the ballast, the various accessories and accommodations, plus the bulkheads and interior braces, have a combined weight of 961.52 metric tons, which when added to 394.96 metric tons, gives us the desired total of 1,356.48 metric tons. Clear?"
        "So," the captain went on, "when the Nautilus lies on the waves under these conditions, one–tenth of it does emerge above water. Now then, if I provide some ballast tanks equal in capacity to that one–tenth, hence able to hold 150.72 metric tons, and if I fill them with water, the boat then displaces 1,507.2 metric tons—or it weighs that much—and it would be completely submerged. That's what comes about, professor. These ballast tanks exist within easy access in the lower reaches of the Nautilus. I open some stopcocks, the tanks fill, the boat sinks, and it's exactly flush with the surface of the water."